Sexual, but No Sex

Normally, as you know, I only write about sex encounters I have. You can probably count on 7 fingers how many posts I have done otherwise.

But I thought I'd at least tell you of a somewhat erotic (and yes, only somewhat) thing I did yesterday. A nude photo shoot. A professional (type) one.

I came across the guy on ManHunt - saying he was a professional photographer...blah blah blah...and into yoga. I just messaged him and told him how I thought nude yoga photos would be interesting and the conversation went from there. The idea was to do just that: nude yoga photos.

I have been doing yoga for almost a year and am by no means great at it - at least not technically. And had either of us thought this through, we would have known to get really really good pics of this, one would need to have almost perfect form, which I do not. It did not help that the coloring of the background and mat were all wrong and that being in different positions, mostly with the head facing down, made my face and head all red. The combination was just bad.

But first the set-up: "Antonio" and I had this arranged for weeks. He'd do the photos of me for free, not giving me access to all, but taking 6-10 of the best, tweaking them and giving them to me, in lieu of not only payment, but for his ability to use others he takes for his portfolio to entice new clients. I was game.

About a week before, he emails me and says he has invited his friend "Kevin" to assist. Kevin is a 5 or 6 year yoga student and fellow artist - and would I mind if he was there to help position me and be basically an art director. I like an audience, so I said sure.

I got there on time, as did Kevin. The plan was for 2-3 hours of set-up and shooting and it did take that long. I don't know how models do this, as it is a tedious process of checking positioning and lighting. Austin Powers made it look so easy!

Actually, it probably could have been easier, but the dynamic of two friends and one nude stranger made it a little weird. In sex, I'm somewhat used to guys (if it's a 3 way or more) talking about me like I'm not there. Not so much in a situation like this - not that I've been in a situation like this before.

As a photography subject, I was clearly not a person. At first I was a conduit to art. Yes - art! That was the plan with the yoga pics. But like I said, I think all three of us knew they weren't working. Some of this series did turn out and in an arty form, but I can't say that most were traditional yoga poses. It was more of a look at muscles and most of them in my legs.

It is possible or probable that since the yoga ones were the first pics, that I was not loosened up to the situation - and I don't mean the exercise portion of it all. I just mean mentally. I thought I was. I felt I was. That is until I saw some of the pics. I was ok, but nothing great.

After the yoga stuff, they changed backgrounds from black to white and we went into more what I would call standard naked poses: wife beater, hoodie, baseball cap. At one point we tried the open robe concept but Antonio never even snapped one shot before he rejected it as a bad idea. I agree.

At one point, I had a wife beater, the hoodie and a tie on. I looked like a porn version of a Harry Potter movie.

So why was this erotic? I mean, no sex was done or performed. But being watched and them talking about me was kind of a thrill. Being there with my junk hanging, or beginning to stand, in front of them was hot. Them talking about my ass, legs and look (when it was all working, of course) was completely affirming. I was not used to it. And something in the tones of their voices talking about me was about a half-step away from what might turn into sexual.

I never got fully hard, but hard enough where they definitely liked the cock I was sporting - not that I had anything to do with that. I can work on the abs, chest, arms and legs all I want, but the dick just came with me when I was born.

During part of the shoot, I had the hoodie jacket partially off, with the arms bunched close to my wrists and my hands behind my back. The two thought it looked very passive or submissive. I couldn't disagree. Kevin thought it would have been a good idea to bind my hands behind me and take pics like that - and no one disagreed that a bondage shoot would be out of the question.

In all we took almost 300 shots. Then for an hour the three of us narrowed it down to about 30. If it were me, I would have kept them all and used maybe only a fraction of that, but the rejected ones went into the trash. Hey, I'm sure they take up a lot of hard drive space. But once again, now it was weird for the two of them to be assessing me and addressing body image issues while I just sat there.

Now and again, they'd ask me if I though one shot or another was an erotic shot - and it is hard to answer when the subject is you. I have seemingly no perspective on it and not sure I could separate myself enough to be objective. Clearly, there were a few shots I really liked, and some I liked that no one else did - but it wasn't my shoot, it was Antonio's. If I liked it and they didn't, it still went into the trash. So, the thought process wasn't completely different than sex with me and a good top.

I will get the pics soon enough. While they won't be photoshopped a lot, there will be some cropping and tweaking of contrast and such. I will get the 5-10 shots, whatever comes my way, and depending on which he has chosen, and what I like, I might post some of them here. Or, I might crop them myself so I can show some of them here.

I'm proud of what I did. I liked what I did. I just got an email from Antonio asking if I would be up not only for the bondage shots, but to do a full shoot of me in a suit and the series would be of me disrobing.

I said yes.