Friday, June 21, 2013

The Art of the CL Ad

I'd like to say this is a sex post, but it is not.  Not really.

It's more of an post to talk about and maybe figure out, how to lure and reel in prospects when using craigslit.  I'm providing some observations, but also wouldn't turn away good advice.

Now, I know that CL is a hit and miss arena - and more miss than you'll ever hit.  Even the ones who do respond are flakes, or many of them.  And maybe there is no way to get around the wrong responders or worse (?) - the no responders.

First off, I don't understand the cocksucker or the bottoms who insist on posting pics of their dick.  Or the tops posting pictures of their ass.  It's confusing at best, misleading at worst.  Or maybe just stupid at worst.

Mind you, I take pride in my grammar, so you'll never see 'boi' or ''sup' or too many abbreviations.  I will also use the correct punctuation - which, believe it or not, matters in these ads.

'Want Cock Sucked' is far different than 'Want Cock Sucked?'   But the headline is the former and you have to go into the ad to find some 22 yo fuckboy who can't be bothered with the question mark and all he wants to do is lick dick.

Yet these types of ads are all around - and usually a combination of the punctuation missing and the incorrect type of pics.  Has the American education system failed us that badly?

One thing I am finding is not working for me:  Having a well-written ad, being clever or smart in your ad.  Don't write above a 5th grade reading level.

Yes, you're smiling but you know it's true.  Here's one example:

There are days I just want to take on the weight of your world: feeling the heft of your meat, as it passes to my tongue past my lips. The way it sits there - growing and hardening. The way it drools into my mouth. 

I need to feel it moving in and out of my mouth - with my help and with yours. A combined effort so that YOU feel good and excited. 

I like to feel hands on my head or behind my neck. I like the piston action as you get closer with no intention of stopping until every drop is gone. And yes, the grip may tighten as you unleash every drop of warm fluid into my mouth as a groan involuntarily escapes your lips. 

six feet two inches here. one-eighty. shaved head. masculine. professional. wearing no cologne and a non-smoker. I am not generou$. 

you be masculine, ht / wt proportions. ages 30-60 good, but negotiable. Prefer non-smokers, but might be able to work around that. Prefer no or non-heavy cologne. 

No PnP (except poppers). I can host or travel. 

Stats (ht, wt, age, etc) required. Pics always get fastest response. Not looking for, nor want reciprocation.

Responses:  zero.

I thought it would get me  more notice than:  'need head now - and looking for younger only' kind of ad.

Though in those ads they fail to put their age in - so what is younger?  And even if they put in their age of, say,  48, do they really consider 47 younger?  Technically it is, but a 40+ yo would be rejected since the poster didn't specify.

This was another ad of mine:

I have developed a very good oral /semen elimination system. 

It extracts the seed from you and then it disappear down my throat, leaving you with no mess and no clean-up. You have options to see the semen before it is taken away, or you can just toss it down the disposal. Your choice. 

The process is painless and am told, even pleasurable to you. 

This is a free service that can be mobile or you bring to me. Either way is fine. 

I am six two, one-eighty, shaved head, beard, masc, professional, non-smoker, no cologne, no PnP (popers ok). 

You be masc, ht/wt proportionate, 30-55 (ish).

A few responses, no follow-throughs, except for guys wanting to suck me.  What part of that ad said I wanted to be sucked?

And just because I can be a total prick - and I can - I had to reply to this guy's ManHunt ad.  Yes, I know he was specific, but I think there is a way to write things without just rubbing someone the wrong  way - and he did:  me.   

I'm not 35, nor do I want to be again. 

Ok, I'm not a total prick, because I cropped out his user name and city.  But I did reply that I was in my 40s and REALLY wanting to get with him - even though I had no interest. 

I can't wait till that douche is 36. 

So I don't think there are any clear cut answers.  I don't know that my direct approach on ad writing works much better than my creative writing skills. I was just hoping someone would see education and a little bit of humor and maybe want something a little more cerebral - even if it is just a mouth or ass fuck. 

I guess I am wrong. 


gh_lovr said...

eats, shoots and leaves - gives the title a whole new meaning

i know what you mean about proper grammar, spelling and punctuation. ambiguous ads where a simple question mark would clear everything up are too much.

love your blog by the way - keep it up! double entendre intended

Anonymous said...

My personal pet peeves are the guys that say they're versatile and 9 times out of 10 they're really just a bottom looking for a top. I also hate the ads that don't say what they're looking for.

Stating likes and wants rather than dislikes goes a lot farther.

The "no older than 35" prick you site looks about 35 himself! LOL! He's probably closer that age than what he states.

Great blog, keep up the great work!

Big Dick Vers Guy said...

Let me're getting intellectual about Craigslist, and responding to a child on Manhunt....


Here's the thing, faggots are faggots. It's true, and it's not nice. Always looking for the next best. Sometimes you are the next best, sometimes you're not.

Explorer Jack said...

Well Bike, you've know me for awhile, and I've known you. We're a little different and a lot the same.

Goddam Craigslist!

If it weren't for CL, I'd still be in the deep closet, celibate and lonely.

CL has gone downhill a lot (in my areay) from when I first got started in all of this a few years ago, and yet, as much as I want to abandon it, with all it's flakes and regulars, It's really all I know.

I have no idea how guys get together in a non-CL world.

I've tried Grindr, and Adam 4 Adam with limited suck-cess. I always come back to Craigslist.

It's one place where you can be honest, state your needs, wants, desires, in as many or as few words and pictures as you want, and then take what comes your way. Or not.

As for the examples of your CL posts......fuck yah. I would have hit you up hard if you posted in my area.

I love a good cocksucker, and I'm pretty sure you are one.

I guess it doesn't matter much if you know the difference between to, two, and too, when your mouth is full of my dick, but given the choice, I'll take the cock sucker that knows the difference over the one who doesn't any day.

I for one hope that CL will return to the glory that it once was. Connecting cocks with the mouths and butts of those who know no other way.

Peace, my horny brother.

Cleveland bottom guy said...

I know what you mean. Some guys on CL simply CANNOT read. I personally get pissed off to no end when I clearly state in my ad that I am a TOTAL BOTTOM, no recip wanted, and some moron asks for a picture of my dick. WHY? I already made it crystal clear I do not want my fuck partner to do anything with it!!!