Let's just say, when he came to the door, all I could think of was Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. Minus the lab coat.
Guys provide stats, but don't provide pics. Sometimes you get what's coming to you - and not in that hot, good way.
Guys can't read either. No reciprocation, I said. He tried to suck me off. Then tried to jack me off.
Prefer non-smokers, I said. "I'm a heavy smoker, is that a problem?" Um. Kind of. And this was after he said he wanted to kiss. I told him that was off the table. He offered a mint, but then he'd just smell like wint-o-green and smoke. Even less appealing than just cigarettes.
But I made my bed, so to speak - and was about to sleep in it.....so to speak.
Oddly, he didn't smell of cigarettes until he took off his suit. Maybe it was his hands. And one of those hands had a gold band around the ring finger.
He was a quiet sort. Too quiet. I didn't know if I was turning him on or off or if he was just indifferent. His hard cock said he was turned on, but that was the only give away.
The ad was for a blowjob, but as they do sometimes, things change.
He stood me up and bent me over a counter. I had not slobbered a ton on his cock, because I didn't know this was coming. But he lined himself up.
I took a wad of my own spit, coated his cock and guided him to my hole.
Most married guys are usually pretty good at fucking. This guy was a novice, despite him being in his upper 40s. He had no good technique.
As I was facing away from him, I kind of smiled to myself when he gave me the 4-1-1 that "I never bareback.......this is my first time."
Mind you, I didn't ask to be fuck. His idea, but not only did he not just take the lead (though, I wouldn't say aggressively) he brought no, nor asked for a, condom.
"You are married, right?"
Because, if we know anything, it is that all married men are good for barebacking because they pose no risk.
He might wear a suit and be age appropriate, but he's not winning any medical advancement prizes anytime soon.
The fuck didn't last long. Less than 10 minutes.
I could feel him stiffen and throb. I won't say I felt the cum or the warmth, but I knew what he was doing. He seemed to think I was on his level of intelligence though.
He pulls out. "Sorry - I'm really nervous. I was on the verge, but I just can't get there. I won't be able to cum.".
His other tricks may have just fallen off the turnip truck, but I didn't.
But I let him have his moment. No need getting him all flustered and I wasn't going to call him a liar anyways. If it was his stealthing fantasy, so be it.
We got dressed and parted.
I do not foresee another go-around with this guy.