Freak-a-Zoid

It happens with anyone who has hooked up on any consistent basis: encountering the weirdo.

I’m not talking the total psycho. I reserve those more for dating – or they sit and wait for me, I should say.

But a recent hook-up was one for the record books. Or at least the blog. I doubt he’ll read it and don’t really give a fuck if he does.

I was in DC (as usual) and from a craigslist ad, he found me. I had a few other people on the line for hook-up – all of whom I ditched for a chance with this guy. As you can see from the picture why I might have made him the chosen one. There is a price to falling for vanity as I was soon to find out. As hot as his picture is – the man exceeded all expectations. The body was better. The body was hairier (a good thing – for me). He was older, but not old. The man had lines around his eyes that I found incredibly sexy. And the hair on his head was pretty nice too. His voice was low and masculine and the stuff that radio disk jockeys would kill for. The body itself was close to perfection. I do not say that lightly. I could not figure out why this guy would want to be with me.

The second “Kevin” made it into the room, his shorts were around his ankles. The dick was a solid 6.5” and I do mean SOLID. The guy had a metal cockring, but hardware that I’ve ever seen has made anyone’s penis THAT hard. I don’t know if he had chemical help establishing that erection or not. And not once in the 60-90 minutes we were together that dick ever waver in stiffness.

The weird part started almost immediately. I don’t mind a man whose breath smelled of scotch – but clearly he’d been drinking. Ok…I can attribute it to nerves. As a matter of fact he said he was nervous…..about 72 times. Do nervous guys drop their shorts before the hotel room door is shut? Do guys who are nervous maintain an erection made out of cement for 90 minutes? Je think not.

Then it was, “I’ve never done this before”. Before the evening was up, it was “this is only the eighth time I’ve done this”. I’m thinking the eighth time this week. As I ate his ass, I think I could have lost a fist in it. Hot: yes. Virgin: no.

Then we went through the, I have to be discrete – you won’t tell anyone right? (Do 400 readers per day count?) I think he repeated that question only two dozen times or so.

Let’s move on to the poppers. “What are these things? I’ve never seen them before” But then proceeded to put them to each nostril for long long inhales. Not bad for someone who doesn’t know what they are. “Are these heroin? Is there coke in here?” I think those questions only got asked 18-20 times.


He certainly had the body of a military man – which he claimed to still be active. I have never made it with a career military guy who didn’t have even a little bit of ink on him….and he didn’t. At this point I wasn’t believing anything this guy said anyway.

Yeah, he said he was married – and he doesn’t cheat, except for some hookers when he was stationed in Korea and Thailand. But he wouldn’t fuck me because of potential disease. I think he just equated me to being below an asian street whore…..but I’m not sure.

That being said – shortly afterward, he got a glazed look on his eyes, pushed me back and pushed my legs over my head with a vengeance. There was nothing nice about this and exerted pressure of a good amount of force – all the while threatening to breed me and make me his bitch.

Most any other time I would find this highly erotic – but for all his annoyances, he was not beginning to scare me just slightly. He’d let up for a few seconds and then exert greater strength to this effort – but never following through on making me his anything.

I finally got him to let me blow him some more (yeah, I guess I did more than just eat his ass before, but not much else – though he liked his pits licked…and they smelled and tasted like MAN pits) and I finally coaxed a mediocre load out – in size and taste.

Considering the amount of loads I milked out of other guys this trip (stories coming up), I couldn’t help feel that the 90 minutes I was with him were a waste. I could have taken 2-3 other guys….easily. And without the questions.