Sunday, March 15, 2009


No real blog entry into my activities.

More just some pondering as to what next steps I’d love to take. They all seem revolve around pictures and video.

Dangerous shenanigans to your average joe, whether it be for relationship purposes, family life, work advancement, etc. So is this blog, but I try to keep it fairly generic as to who I am and not spill too many beans and to tweak some name/location stats just enough to be a step-ahead.

Clearly I have exhibitionistic tendancies. I like public sex for starters and always have. People say they like the fear of being caught. That isn’t exactly true. I like the excitement of being watched. For those who say the former, they have never been “caught” by the wrong entity. These perspectives change – and quickly.

As you’ve seen here, I like telling you guys about my experiences. It is not the same as seeing or watching them, but I like to think I’m descriptive enough you can imagine them in some form. I don’t try to make it all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows.

You’ve also noticed I don’t mind being photographed. Granted, the majority of what I do have, is either self-timed photos or me holding the camera during the act. In a few occasions, I have let the participant hold the camera and take them of me. But it has always been my camera and my control of the images.

What you see here are edited versions of said images. I crop to highlight certain areas or to take away certain identifiers. Much like your senior year high school proofs, you have to take 10 pics to get one good one. I’m not saying I take THAT many, but you definitely get the best of the best – whatever that means.

I do not think I present well, facially, in pictures. Real life I believe I present much better in person. I have conveyed my thoughts on my average looks, face and body. I can’t really work on the face, but I am working on the body. But something in pictures, at least self taken photos do not do me any favors….or justice. As someone who reads this and has seen me (jokingly?) said: ‘you’re not completely repulsive’. Word!

As for video, I know you guys have seen the one I posted on jizzflixxx. That was all well and good, but it was me with my digital cam and only my dick. And I was the top. That might be what some of you want to see – and maybe I do too, eventually. But that’s not my goal…..if you want to call it that.

First off, that video was not my first foray into the world of “film”. I have had some failed experiences – which I chronicled here, as a horny young (barely) post-teen. After that, I had three other experiences – all with mixed results.

One was post college with a man of a dirty mind who persuaded me to allow him to video me as he fucked me. And had me suck him too, I guess. I can’t remember the actuals – which is odd. This is a man who before I could blow him in a video booth, made me lick some cold semen off the filthy fucking floor. “Made” me is harsh. I didn’t have to do it and just not gotten his dick. But sex addictions are strong – and so is a man with a forceful mind.

I never saw the actual video. But as I would every once in awhile see him in a bar, almost always he’d nudge a guy he was with and point in my direction. I have no idea what they were saying, but I always assume it was of me, what he had me do and/or ‘that is the kid on the film I showed you’.

My next one happened while at a conference in Orlando. I was new to the M4M site, I found a guy who was looking for some out of the ordinary scenes. I found him handsome, even if he was a bit older. That doesn’t mean he was not sexy.

He could play on the side from his partner, only if he filmed it. That way he could show it to his partner. Or so he said. I was ok with that – regardless of the justification. It turns out this guy has done guy-on-guy films – professionally. Hart Caldwell is the name. Stage name, that is.

There was supposed to be a third guy in the mix, but he never showed. As it turns out, Hart did a very standard, set-it and forget it method. Throw the camera on the tripod and we positioned ourselves around where the tripod stood. Now and again, the camera was moved so we could also be placed in different areas of the hotel room. We had standard sucking and fucking things. We took some still photos, like these as well.

The audio was ok. The video was ok. But nothing more than that. At least from what I remember.

I cannot remember if the video captured Hart pissing all over me while I was kneeling in front of him out on the balcony… broad daylight. Granted, we were three stories up, but it wouldn’t have taken a genius in the parking lot to see him standing there and liquid coming out of the drainage spout on said balcony.

I should be able to remember, as Hart provided a VHS (!) tape of the event for me. I watched it once or twice, but not unlike most big Hollywood types – it is hard to gain perspective from my own performance. I saw all the things I could have done better. Lightening, Editing and Sound could have helped.

I no longer have that tape. I think it is in good hands. I made the mistake (?) of providing it to one of the first on-line bloggers I reached out to. He is a filmmaker and had the equipment to convert the VHS tape into something that could be played from this century.

We have talked. We are friendly. But I do not have the converted video. I do not have the original video either. I also do not think it is out there in the public domain either. I trust him. We have discussed me doing work for him in a specialized film. It is something I would really really like to do. Yeah Bruiser, I’m talkin’ to you! Schedules and travel hinder these plans.

My last video was done in DC. I briefly mention it the post about my jizzflixxx video. This one clearly clearly clearly shows my face. A handful of trusted folks have seen it, but not many.

It was not set up as a video shoot or anything. It was stills of when I was down taking some guys cock in my mouth and throat. But nearing the end, we both agreed to move it to video mode.

I am not sure it could have come out any better if it had been rehearsed. The movements of both of us. The banter (if you could even call it that) between the two of us. The way the guy used the camera for zoom in and out. It makes me think he has done this before. For a little over one minute, it is not bad.

I show potential.

But I do want more. I want to do more. I am not sure how. How to execute it. How to control it (to a degree).

We’ll see how this all plays out.

1 comment:

Atlantagent said...

DAMN! I missed the jizzflixxx video! Shit! Fuck!