Tuesday, November 22, 2005

No New Tale To Tell

...and I guess that just happens sometimes. As I've mentioned before (or I think I have), pulling back a past encounter from the many that I have had to supplement this blog is harder than I imagined. First I have to narrow down what type of encounter I want to discuss and then one that is interesting and translates to text. Really.......it's harder than one might think.

Today I thought I'd pull back to when it started. No - not a first time encounter, but the thought of a first time encounter.

When I was 12 or 13 I was babysitting for a couple down the street. They had a copy of Everything You Want to Know About Sex* (*but were afraid to ask). I read this like some people would read the bible....and it was just as fictious.

Actually I read PART of this......over and over, each time I'd watch these kids. Flip to the index.....look up 'homosexuality' and proceed to the entire two pages they had any text on it at all. (mind you this was an early-mid 70s edition.)

Apparently men go to bowling alleys, go to the bathroom, tap their foot under the stall....and voila....SEX! Imagine my surprise when I went to our podunk town bowling alley and not getting anything after sitting for what seemed like an eternity. Oh the disappointment.

The truer guide (read: bible) would have been through the fiction I read in Blueboy or Honcho. These I would shoplift from bookstores in a mall at 15. The stories - though somewhat exaggerated - at least gave a better depiction of bars, parks, bathrooms, rest areas, truck stops & adult bookstores. Granted I didn't have access to all of these, but lo and behold, when I did find - BINGO!

I miss the knot in my stomach I used to get going into a park. Or theatre. Or waiting at a gloryhole. The anticipation of something new. A life-changing experience - as they all were for me for a few years running.

Perhaps they are not to be anymore. Maybe I'm too experienced....too jaded. But I think about those men who helped me become who I am - even though they didn't know it (or care). Should I be doing this for some other soul - now that I am who they were?

Maybe I just need to get laid.

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