I know we all deal with them and I really try NOT to be one. If I'm uninterested I say so, or if I see the email / text exchange going down a bad or wrong path, I quash it. The temporary sting of rejection is certainly better than the dull ache of waiting............always waiting.
I'd say for on-line hook-ups, at least for me, there is only a 15% success rate. So if you're doing the math on my blog entries, you know how many lines must be cast to actually hook something. Even the bad ones.
I have no reason for it, exactly, but I hit a breaking point the other day. I've looked back and really tried to figure out why now / why him. Nothing in his profile was so outstanding that I felt cheated out of a hot man or time. Even his second to last email had me thinking he was trying a bait and switch when he asked if I got my cock sucked, when my ad clearly said 'no reciprocation'.
Still, he said he was on his way over. 10 minutes it would take him to be here.
I think that was my breaking point though. WHY put a time table to your bullshit if it is jut that - bullshit? It's like the guys who say they're leaving and never get off their couch.
Earlier in the week a guy was 30 minutes late and I said - so you're not coming? He said, "I couldn't find the place."
I called him on his bullshit. I said you had a phone. You've been texting me - you couldn't have asked? You couldn't have called? And since he had a blue text box, he was on an Apple product, and since he had my address, I knew he could Apple Map it or Google Map it.
Not surprisingly, he never replied. Stupid gets caught in stupid.
So maybe he was also my breaking point. So when Mr. Average (probably) who (probably) really wanted to suck my cock as opposed to getting sucked failed to show, I just dropped this email on him:
A little common courtesy goes a long way. Lack of it goes farther - just not in a good direction.
I'll assume now that you're a half hour late that.....
1. You had a horrible horrible accident on he way over, and are pinned beneath your car w your phone just inches out of reach.
2. You changed your mind but think only YOUR time is valuable and you're still waiting for that spine to arrive via FedEx.
3. All you really wanted was to suck my cock and when I said that wasn't what I was after (nor did my ad imply I was ) you decided to bail. Again too gutless to say so.
4. Your wife, girl / boy friend showed up and you lost internet connectivity to let me know.
And in reality, I REALLY hoped it was #1
Yes, it is petty, but it really came down to #2. Don't fucking waste my time and I won't waste yours. But that time is not just yours, so be a fucking human about it.
Of course, I never ever ever expected a reply. I'm not sure I wanted one. And if I did, I assumed it would be him calling me a "dick" or "asshole" - which I may or may not have coming. But hours later he actually had the balls to shoot me a message, so I'll give him that:
Yep, you are right and I am sorry. No excuse. Inconsiderate of me and truthfully maybe a little pathological. I think I want it until I find it and then I leave people feeling helpless. So again, I apologize
While I don't accept the apology - and I don't - is this what it comes down to with all flakes? A pathological fear of finding what they want?
I did shoot off a message, probably too quickly, bust still meant every word of it about how he and his ilk are what's wrong with hook-up sites. Too big of pussies to put up and get off on chatting with guys but not being able to be honest about that.
There are sites if you just want to jack off to fantasies. Pay your $1 / minute, spray your seed, hang up and wipe yourself clean.
But leave me the fuck out of it.