Fake and Real

There was a Seinfeld where Kramer tells the group that, in the past, he has faked orgasms before. The group can't believe a man can fake such a thing.

But of course one can. At least for a while.

The reality is, most of the time a guy can't feel another guy's cum shooting into him. One might feel the pulses of the cock, but the actual cum and warmth?  It happens, but I don't think it's a regular occurrence.

So I was asked to come to a guy's house to eat his ass. I was happy to do it. More than happy, as you know I love to munch butthole.

However, our meeting time got delayed, as I was getting close to his house. So I hit up a Starbucks, had a drink and played on my phone.

Some handsome lad hit me up. He was two blocks away. He wanted to worship my feet. Being that has never been on my menu, I figured if nothing else, it was something to blog about. See  - it's all about giving back to you people. I hope you're happy.

In a word:  ugh.

The distance was walkable. The place was a fucking pit. Nice from the outside, but I don't think this guy (and his roommates?) will be getting their deposit back. Ever. And while it was only 9:30a, either this guy hadn't been to bed (meth?) or was up early chain smoking. The entire place reeked of cigarette smoke. I'm not a fan of that at all.

And his profile pic while handsome, did not live up to what was in front of me. A much more worn out version, furthering my thoughts of his probably meth use.

I should have turned and run then, but I didn't. My boots were caked with snow and slush and I was taking them off, but he told me not to. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. The place was a dump, so what did he care if someone trekked this shit through where he lived.

His bedroom was slightly better than the living area. As for the foot worship - never happened. He went to his knees and to my cock.

He was a so-so cocksucker. Telling tales between bobs on my shaft of how he sucked older, married men when he was a teen.

As he was sucking me - or attempting to - he pulled out his own dick. It was nothing to look at really, and nothing I wanted to manipulate the system to try to get in my mouth. I was biding my time looking for an exit strategy.

Then he presented his ass to me.

There is no logic. There is no explanation. I tried to fuck him and I have no idea why. He wasn't even on my radar to do such a thing.

I sunk into him in one push - not bad considering I wasn't fully hard, or could even get there. But I'm big enough that he went down and bit the comforter for some kind of support. I fucked here and there, always slipping out, not being able to keep it going. So I don't know why I kept trying.

I made one last attempt and just well, faked my orgasm. And he seemingly bought it. I flexed my dick, to make it see like it pulsed, but I shot nothing nor was even close to doing so. I also made all the necessary vocalizations.....though I never actually said the words, "I'm cumming" or "I'm gonna cum...".

I told him to stay right where he was and let myself out. I won't be going back there again.


So my ass eating pal was ready for me. I've played with him before. His door was unlocked. He was on his bed, ass up, shoulders down - butt right at the edge of the bed.

I got down and really went to town on his hole. He has a good one. A sweet shitter for eating. I probably tongued it for a good 20-30 minutes.

I'm not sure what was in the air yesterday, but he was begging to get fucked too. And I have boned him before, but I wasn't mentally there for it, especially after my last recent encounter.

Still, I stripped off my jeans and made the attempt. This guy got more from me - a harder cock, a longer fuck, a harder fuck.......but you know, it's me....so I didn't have the ability to sustain the erection. For me, that is more of a mental game - and don't talk to me about ED drugs. I'm still not jonesing to be a top.

Near the end, I kind of slid out. He wanted me to just jack off and cum on his asshole. I get the sentiment, but even with what little topping I do, I'm not really looking to do that with my load. But I did jack it, and got close and just hard enough to shove in at the very last second and unleashed a two week supply of semen.

The man knows how to work his hole, that's for sure. He's not a novice when it comes to getting fucked. I'm guessing he is quite the expert at taking dick.

It wasn't the day I was looking for, but it happened.

Maybe next time I'll be on the receiving end of two cocks.